The Interval kind of love

Sundays

I wake up 

Feel the silence envelope me 

I see ice walls

Start rising around me 

They contain the bleed 

Shield the vulnerability

The day wears on

I am now concealed 

In a fortress of cold filters

A fierce cave - it soothes me 

Anger subsides, resistance gives way 

I try to find happiness around me

Hold on to any vestibule of warmth 

Instead the coldness envelopes 

Cynics awaken 

This is all there is

Other voices whisper “understanding”

But longing always wins 

The battles rage in silence

I move through the motions

The conversations start and die

Eventually the pain starts to subside 

Sleep beckons 

A new week

Things to do

The business of living 

I give up the resistance 

A penguin sings a lullaby 

I fall into a disturbed sleep 

Mondays

The clock chimes 

It’s 9.30

You wake up

You sense the distance 

You want me as you left me

You try to break through 

I am one with cold breezes now

Anger and longing interplay 

You fight 

Look into my eyes

Hold me closer, 

kiss me softer

You stoke the fire, 

You break in 

I smell you, 

Feel you, see you

The memories flood 

I watch helpless

I see the rage dissolve

Now I am exhausted  

I don’t understand 

I am incapable of the switch 

The day wears on 

Our moments gain momentum 

I am swept in their tide 

In the magic of us 

In the sheer joy of you 

I feel a warm breeze 

I surrender to the forces

Your love washes me over 

By the end of the day, I am yours again 

The noises give way to music 

I sleep conflicted

The taste of you stays on my skin 

The warmth of you lingers in my soul

I reconcile to the inevitable 

Tuesdays

I am in love again 

I long to see your face

I wait to hold your hands 

To be locked in an embrace 

Count the stolen moments 

Shine them and sparkle them 

Put them to rest carefully 

In the treasure chest of my heart 

The nights are filled with longing

I wait to see you again 

Wednesday 

I am one with you 

Together we create magic 

Life beats me through the week

You are there to apply the balm

You hold my hands 

Tell me we are living the dream

Fighting the good fight

Building, making our place

In the sunshine and hay

I am weary from the fight 

Grateful for your time 

You tell me we can do it together 

We are caught in the business of living 

You at your frontiers and me at mine 

We make time, have tea

You give every bit of yourself to me 

We look apart at our own worlds 

Try to move the story that much further 

Try to add that many more pieces 

Conversations and chai 

Life continues it’s unrelenting march

There are some truths to digest 

I tell myself I am in it for the fight

When I don’t have it in me, I will lie among the masses

Until then I want to lead, scream - look ahead

Build the future, change the world 

Thursdays

Sometimes I am off to other lands

Whether here or apart, we are still together

We hold our souls together 

Hear each other

Feel every breath

Noise and music merge into the week 

We give it our best shot 

I am now in you 

And you are with me 

Standing by me, supporting me 

We scream together till our lungs burn  

We try to create music in that midst 

Exhausted, we go home 

Engaged, exhilarated, alive!

Fridays

The week has passed 

We are intensely together

Life now has thrown all its bullets at us 

We duck, survive 

Find another day to live

Find another step to move forward 

Slowly we build our story

A conglomerate of our collective thoughts

We add a new brick to the edifice 

I am grateful

Sleep - exhausted exhilarated

Having given it my all 

Saturdays

I wake up in silence

Control the urge 

A passing beauty, I want to share

An intense experience, I want to recount 

I am still with you, in you

I see a warm embrace and a familiar feeling washes over me 

Memories in every nook and corner 

Sometimes the urges give way

I reach out 

There is silence 

Coldness 

I am locked out 

I am in the cave 

There is nothing and no one

In the beginning I don’t get it

I wait patiently 

But then the day gives way

And I feel hopelessly alone 

Standing on the edge of a precipice 

About to fall

I look for you to hold me 

And I see an abyss 

No one reaching out 

My home comforts me then 

Reminds me, there is a home

I am now passive, confused

Give in to the love 

My mind sways in a whirlpool 

What is love I wonder

What is companionship 

Is it in the moments lived

In little things done 

I have now shifted

I wonder what is real 

And why there is a cold breeze starting to blow 

The silences tear into my soul

I reach through the shreds and try to find the understanding 

I find distractions

I stare at sunsets 

I immerse myself in the laughter of friends 

I find some alone time to paint

To cook, to clean. To love.

And then the dam bursts 

There is a wall of tears

Unexplained

Inexplicable 

The tears start to freeze into ice

The ice creates cold walls

I sleep resigned 

Surender 

Waiting for tomorrow.