Just so you know

You are the light in my heart 

around which life blooms 

the light I use 

to give shape, form, structure

to all my hopes and dreams 

With you I am 

a child again.

with you I have

no walls, no filters 

Just a free flowing gush of water 

Sometimes a cool placid lake

Other times raging waves 

With you I am 

a woman again.

I find what it means

to be feminine again.

The softness I once knew 

buried under heavy rubbles

of time and broken experiences.

I discover it again.

With you I find 

my constant companion,

an ever growing friendship

whose fragrance deepens

with every conversation.

With you I need

no one else. 

I can look wistfully,

relive my past.

I can gaze hopefully

into our imagined future.

With you I find

all my answers,

my resting place,

my sense of peace. 

With you it is still waters

this permanent presence

in the subconscious.

I carry you everyday with me 

in all my thoughts

inside me.

With you, I find

I am never alone.

In you I have 

found my home.

Memories

 Memories, you infidels 

like ghosts, you appear 

where I least expect you.

Suddenly i find you

staring at me 

in some strange corners 

of coffee shops

or in vivid colors

incandescent 

bright lights

life like 

your smile

your gentleness

your love

that always kept me connected.

Irreverent memories

you flicker and fade against my will

things i never want to forget.

Then 

unsuspectingly

just when i find calm

you come back 

in roaring color

dolby sounds 

in my dreams

reminding me

of what has been lost

this deep vaccum

this permanent hollow.

And so I paint 

to bring permanence to the transient 

to appoint a master 

to tame your fickleness

so that in those creations

you are always mine

to touch

to hold

to smell

to love

to always come back to.